This year 2019 was a really productive year for me. I have achieved so many things and I have listed and tracked them here. But despite those achievements, I still have failed many parts of my 2019 goals. What’s even worse is that I thought that these goals are very important to me. Apparently the work ethics shows it’s not that important.
I wanted to make a really good and consistent YouTube channel but I failed to do it. I had a really good start this year through Ragnarok Mobile Videos. In the first quarter of the year, I reached 10k subscribers and over 1M views which I never imagined would ever happen to me. But despite those amazingly high numbers, I suddenly stopped doing it. I enjoyed making those Ragnarok Mobile videos, I really do. It also made money and it delivered views. I can say that during that time, my channel was the biggest Tagalog content creator for Ragnarok Mobile. But even with this performance it was not enough for me to continue.
I didn’t want my channel to be a Ragnarok Mobile Tutorial and Gaming Channel, I want my YouTube channel to be a place where I can share my life and watch my self again years from today. I want to see what my life was and I want to feel happy that I did what I did. I guess the reason why I suddenly stopped making YouTube vlogs is because I relied on the wrong idea that if I continue making Ragnarok Videos I wont be able to do what I really wanted for the channel.
I started vlogging because I wanted to record my life and share it with everyone. That’s the long term goal and I want to keep it that way but maybe I should have continued with Ragnarok for a while and then convert the channel slowly. Anyway, I was not able to deliver the number of content as planned so it’s still a failure. Whether I changed the direction or not, it doesn’t matter anymore because there was still not enough content for the YouTube Channel.
I only had 3 body goals this year. I want to
- Go back to training karate
- Sleep properly, and
- Workout regularly to gain some mass up.
I tried several times and failed in all of them. I want to be more phisically active but I ended up still not prioritizing my health.
The dojo is only available every weekend morning, but sadly I usually have other priorities on these days.
My sleep is a lot better now, but I think I cannot sleep earlier than 11pm. I just can’t do it unless I’m tired and exhausted. So I adjusted toe goal, instead of 10:30 to making sure it’s not past 12mn. I still failed many times but I’m getting better at it.
The last body goal was working out to bulk up. I tried it sever times. I did it over 2 months back in March and April but f I did went over 2 months I slowly went back to just sitting in from of my computer. I even had a notebook to track my progress. But I’m too laaaaazzzzyyyyy to lift.
I was not even close to finishing a single book. That’s shameful! I really don’t like reading a book. I can’t event spend 30 minutes to do it. I know I’m learning a lot from it but I really do not enjoy it at all. How can I do this?
I guess the main reason why I failed on all of these is relying on the wrong mindset. When I do it, I do it with passion, 100%! But that was not enough. When I achieved certain levels like subs, views, or physical looks I stopped doing it. I got satisfied with the temporary results and forgot that the long term goal is more important.
Despite failing on these goals, I will try to do it again. I really want to do them. This time I’ll rely on commitment and Discipline. That is a better mindset.